Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Dis-Orientation

Orientation for my new job today! I hear it's good to ask questions, here are 5 questions i will pose:
1. Is it ok if i take notes in crayon?
2. Is it ok if i pronounce it cran? Cuz when i say Cray-On, i feel like im talking about Optimus Primes' sidekick
3. That sign in the bathroom that says "employees must wash hands," any chance i could add a plaque underneath that says "well, let's be honest, everyone should wash their hands, including the nose picking 4 year-old who lac...ks both the grammar skills and attention span to read this, but if he's not washing his hands, that's on you Pops!"
4. What's your policy on guns in the workplace? (flex, get a buncha weird looks, then slowly sit down) "never mind"
5. I feel as though it would be highly unprofessional to ask to go to the bathroom in front of customers, so can our code phrase be "The chocolate is trying to leave the factory!"

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