How Did You Two Meet?

I bumped into an old friend of mine and asked her how things were going with a guy she had recently started dating. Actually, that's not true, I asked her how her new job was going and either she decided to treat that question like Bill Belichick treats a reporters question at a press conference and just not answer it at all or the vernacular variations between the men of Mars and the women of Venus caused my question to be received as the following: "Please tell me how you and your boyfriend met."

This was verbatim the story that followed and is perhaps the most concise tale of courtship I have ever been told: "I just kind of followed him around until he asked me out."

Now, given the social and workplace inequality that women have faced over the years, I would never make the claim that women have it easier than men in almost any aspect of daily life. Heck, I'm impressed by the fact that a girl can whip her hair into a pretty little ponytail without even looking. Had I been born a Margaret instead of a Mark, any time I tried to do that I would most likely end up accidentally looking the way Deryck Whilbey of Sum 41 has chosen to look on purpose.

In this moment, I realized a key difference in the way certain things are perceived by men and women, because while a mans' reaction to a young lady following him around the Quad for three days is best represented by Dem Franchize Boyz, an Atlanta based Rap group wishing to raise awareness of the letter "Z" with their 2005 hit single hit "Oh, I Think They Like Me" a woman's reaction to a man doing this is more along the lines of 2004 Jojo and just like every other Boston woman, she just wants you to "leave, get out!" Your local police also have a cute little code name for when a man does this to a woman. It's called stalking and you can get in a lot of trouble for it.

Along with the joy that comes with seeing one of my friends happily in a relationship, I really wish these two a lifetime of happiness because I'd love for that to be exactly the way the story is told when little Susie climbs up onto Daddy's lap and asks him how he met mommy.

"Well, sweetheart, mommy followed daddy around campus for a few days like Pikachu following Ash in Yellow Version, so daddy eventually figured "what the hell, why not?"

What Time Is It

If people use the phrase "it's 5 o'clock somewhere" as an excuse to drink can I use "it's my bedtime somewhere" as an excuse to nap?