Hi, I'm Mark Woonton and here is another Top 10 songs and people who definitely didn't write them
1. Speedy Gonzalez - Despacito
2. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman - Attention
3. Bubba Sparxxx the Caterpillar and Trixie Daddy - There's Nothing Holdin' Me
4. Quasimodo - Body Like a Back Road
5. King David feat. Lil Jonathan - Praying (Psalm 151)
6. Brandon LaFell - Slow Hands
7. Apostle Paul Wall - Believer
8. Richard Sherman - HUMBLE*
9. Neo - I'm the One (feat. Meta Morpheus, Trina Tee, Agent Aerosmith and The Organist)
10. "Krayzie Bone" Alex Jones - Wild Thoughts (feat. Ragin' Rush Limbaugh and Sean "No Hands" Hannity)
*On the iTunes music page, among the top ten songs, "HUMBLE" is the only title written in all caps. I'm all for an artist doing everything they can to get noticed, but if someone is going to put some pressure on the "shift" key for a song title with a single word, HUMBLE is not the best choice.
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
Fearth of July
Would it surprise you to learn that I was a major American civil war buff back in the day? Probably not.
While I was in elementary school I took trips with my family to Gettysburg, Fredericksburg and Atlanta to see some of the historic sites that, to many people's surprise based on the names, are not masses of ice in Antarctica. I carried on intelligible conversation with terribly bewildered tour guides and even got some canister shells from a gift shop.
As a youngster, Fourth of July always terrified me, I loved the fried dough but I hated the loud BANG of the fireworks so my dad decided we would pretend it was cannon fire and I would name a civil war general with each blast, cuz nothing curbs a child's fear quite like pretending the loud noises they are hearing is a bunch of antiquated artillery fire.
So tonight if you hear someone shouting last names, come on over, give me a hug and strongly suggest that we move to higher ground
While I was in elementary school I took trips with my family to Gettysburg, Fredericksburg and Atlanta to see some of the historic sites that, to many people's surprise based on the names, are not masses of ice in Antarctica. I carried on intelligible conversation with terribly bewildered tour guides and even got some canister shells from a gift shop.
As a youngster, Fourth of July always terrified me, I loved the fried dough but I hated the loud BANG of the fireworks so my dad decided we would pretend it was cannon fire and I would name a civil war general with each blast, cuz nothing curbs a child's fear quite like pretending the loud noises they are hearing is a bunch of antiquated artillery fire.
So tonight if you hear someone shouting last names, come on over, give me a hug and strongly suggest that we move to higher ground
Saturday, July 1, 2017
Pockets, Pockets, Pockets, Pockets
Would it surprise you to learn that I've never "lost" a pair of glasses only to discover that they were resting on my nose?
Well, I had sort of an automobile equivalent happen recently. After getting some work done on my car, the grimy handed grease monkey laid hands on my bohemoth of a baby and backed it out of the garage. I performed my post appointment pat down to make sure I had everything with me (It's also the motions to a fun song for those who aren't quite ready to take on the bodily responsibilities of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" entitled "Pockets, Pockets, Pockets, Pockets") okay, there's my phone and my wallet. Where are my keys? Where the heck are my KEYS!" As the engine anxiously idled in the driveway
Well, I had sort of an automobile equivalent happen recently. After getting some work done on my car, the grimy handed grease monkey laid hands on my bohemoth of a baby and backed it out of the garage. I performed my post appointment pat down to make sure I had everything with me (It's also the motions to a fun song for those who aren't quite ready to take on the bodily responsibilities of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" entitled "Pockets, Pockets, Pockets, Pockets") okay, there's my phone and my wallet. Where are my keys? Where the heck are my KEYS!" As the engine anxiously idled in the driveway
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