Please Take One

Dear Trick or Treaters

 

Ok, so since this house is at the end of the street around a cul-de-sac odds are that this is either the first or the last of the obligatory Please Take One signs that you’ve encountered tonight. However, I do realize that given all of the walking that you are doing tonight, to arrive at the house all the way at the end of a street and then have a sign telling you to only take one piece of candy is borderline infuriating. On a side note, if you are one of those people who goes trick-or-treating in a car, please leave, because the walking is what makes it feel like you’ve earned it and taking a car is like being paid for simply showing up at work. Now, before you lift the bowl and empty it into your bag, a quick message to the rebellious group of teenagers or the parent with the necessary literary skills to read this to your small child. Consider the following, is the lesson you really want to take away from this before you, or your child enter the Work World, that you keep up appearances when people are watching, but do whatever you want when no one is around? I realize, however, that this entire note is kind of pointless because you already had your mind made up about what you were going to do here the second you saw the unattended bowl of candy illuminated by the lights that seemed to come down from the heavens. So all I’ve really done here is wasted your time and for that I am truly sorry. So at the end of the night, the decision that you choose to make here is really between you, whatever God, gods or sports athlete you choose to worship, and the easily irritated retired Navy Seal with the loaded paintball gun in the woods to your right

 

Happy Halloween,

Management