Beyond a certain age, adults and technology seem to go together about as well as myself and a stick shift. I can try to grasp the concept if you like, but someone, at some point, will probably die. It was evident which side of the tech savvy timeline my dad fell into when he referred to fad of fantasy creatures from my early childhood as Pokemen or the hot, new turn of the century CD he bought my brother and I as being by the "Main Street Boys." Growing up, along with serving as a money leech and constant questioner of everything, the arrival of the DVD player ushered in another familial role. I became my parents personal technician for their weekly small group, charged with the dastardly duty of putting the demonic disc into the digitized box of witchcraft and making the whole thing "go." I was then banished to the basement so that they could have intelligence exchanges about adult stuff. Technology has continued to move forward at a feverish pace. This occurred to me when I realized that in a statement above, I referenced buying a CD, something no one has probably done in quite some time.
One of the great milestones as a Millennial was the day I got my first cell phone. I was a freshman in high school and one day, as my dad and I were driving in the car, he reached into his pocket and handed me my first slice of flip phone freedom and said "Here." It was so uneventful and yet so momentous, because up until that point I thought cell phones were only needed by special agents or important businessman, but now I had one of my own. Thus began a new era in my existence, I would never have to look up again.
In one of his talks, linguist and professor at Columbia University, John McWhorter, lays out a case refuting the common argument that texting is killing the English language and may in fact have far greater benefits than many people realize. He states that those who are able to separate "texting" English and written English are, in some ways, bilingual. John references texts from early American and ancient history from academics of the day who believe that language constructs are completely lost on the youth of the time, bringing to light the reminder that grumbling grownups far out-date any Apple products.
I'm not here to explain away the perceived deterioration of modern dialogue, are people today far too "plugged in?" Probably. However, this is simply a modern mode of communication. I wonder if anyone forty years ago ever got bashed by their parents for spending far too much time in their room writing letters. My goal here is to reach across the generational gap so we can communicate from a place of commonality. I'd like to share with you some common texting acronyms and what they mean so we can better understand and interact with each other.
LOL - Lost Old Lady (to be texted out to others when grandma can not be located in the grocery store or in any other setting where she may tend to wander off.)
BRB - Bed Rest Break (This is an indication from one person to another that the sender is tired and in need of sleep. The communication with the recipient is over for the time being.)
TTYL - Take Two of Your Lyrica (This is another indication that conversation is over because one party is spending far too long complaining about their Fibromyalgia and they are no longer a pleasure to converse with. They just need to take their meds and chill out for a bit.)
LMAO - Learn More About One Direction (This is a personal reminder to try to learn something about current pop culture so people can have conversations with the preteens in their life.)
LMFAO - Left My Fone At Office (This is to be used in an instance to explain a prolonged period of unresponsiveness to a text. In this case, the recipient was not reachable by phone because they had left it at the office. Spelling phone with an "F" simply eliminates the need to text out so many pesky letters. Both words look like they are pronounced the same so, why not?)
ROTFLOL - Reach Out To Finance Lawyers On Loans (The purpose behind this one has a bunch of money related mumbo jumbo that I, myself, don't have the capacity to understand just yet. It has to do with finances and needing the help of a professional. That's all I got for ya on that one.)
OMG - Obliterate My Grandchildren (They're a bundle of joy, aren't they? Most of the time yes, but it gets to a point where the constant noise and rapid movement is just too much and they break into a story about what they did to punish mommy or daddy back in the day and the passage of time has only allowed them to further hone these sinister skills.)
IDK - I'll let the Doctor Know - (This is when someone identifies a new and emerging ache, pain or bruise that they were not previously aware of. They make a mental note to themselves to bring it up at their next doctor visit.)
the final two have similar letters and meanings, they are to be used when the grandkids simply need to be whipped into shape and put to work the acronyms are WTF and FTW which respectively stand for Wash The Floors and Fix The Washer, because washing the floors hurts granddaddy's back and trying to figure out that darn washing machine hurts his head so he shouldn't have to it. His house, his rules!
Happy Texting!
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