That's A Rap

Based on the millions of dollars that they make, I have no idea why every rapper looks so upset on their CD cover. If I ever pursued a career in rap (which is about as likely as Bobby Boucher pursuing a career as a public speaker) my first CD cover would just be a close-up pic of one of my surgical scars (which would hopefully earn me some street cred and get me tons of money although I'd have to write songs about very taboo rap topics such as: Growing up in upper-middle class New Hampshire, having parents that always told me they loved me, and completing and handing my homework in on time) and my 2nd CD cover would be me wearing a crown made out of rock candy, holding a giant candy cane scepter, wearing a cape made from fruit roll-ups, with ring pops on each finger and a fruit loop necklace hanging low and wobbling to the flo' (because apparently jewelry that presents a tripping hazard is sought after in the rap community) and to top it all off, I'd be sitting on a giant Chocolate Easter Bunny throne. The CD would be called "Guess what I did with all your money?" Be on the lookout for my first song "Can You Take Me to the Candy Shop and Buy Me Some Candy Because I Left My Wallet at Home Yes That's Right I Carry My Money Around in a Wallet, Not Just Tied up in Rubber bands and then I'll Probably Need a Ride to the Hospital Afterwards"