”And live from the carpet in my room IIIIIIIIITTTTTTSSSSS TIME! Five rounds in the figurine fighting federation. Introducing first, fighting out of the blue corner, he holds admirable attributes such as being a Medal of Honor recipient, served as the governor of Maine and he is fluent in ten languages. He also has biographical blunders such as marrying a woman named Fanny. At the battle of Quaker Road he was shot at and the bullet hit the Bible he kept in his pocket and ricocheted into his horse simultaneously infuriating religious and animal rights group. In college he was a member of both Phi Beta Kappa and Alpha Delta Phi sadly making him a frat bro. He is currently six feet under, Colonel Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain!!!!”
Introducing next, fighting out of the corner of a red state. He is a Best Actor award winner. He appeared in over 179 movies which is equal to about the number of days people today are willing to work in a particular job and he is also credited with the whimsical words of wisdom “A goal, a love and a dream give you total control over your life.” Sadly, this rough riders real name was Marion Morrison. He also spent his entire life unable to wrap his mind around the idea that a group of people known as Native Americans ought to be able to stay where they are. And despite his English-Sottish and Irish background he also felt as though he had the range to play Genghis Khan. And this ridiculous act of racial insensitivity served as the most atrocious autofill to the phrase “John Wayne G…..” until some raving lunatic in the 70s was like “Hold my clown nose.” He is also currently six feet under. John “Duke” Wayne!!!
Are you ready?! Are you ready?! Let’s get it on!!”
Who you got??
