Bachelor's Duplex Directory

Diversity is a beautiful. From soda on the east coast being referred to as pop in the Midwest or a meal of mashed potatoes and sausage served in England being called Bangers and Mash. It truly is fascinating how each culture puts a spin on something to make it their own.  However, I am also aware that travel can be stressful enough let alone having to remember all of the different rules of social etiquette and foreign terminology.  

I just bought my first place and quickly realized that rooms I thought I had learned the names of as a child differ as I entered into Single adulthood. And with several days of experience, a still standing duplex and an overly self-stroked ego, I now consider myself the Muzzy The bilingual beast creature of Bachelor Living terminology and would now like to pass on what I’ve learned. I know that re-teaching yourself the names of rooms you thought you were familiar with may seem trying at first, but I promise that much like readjusting to driving in the States after a vacation in Europe or remembering the mandated One Finger Wave when traveling on the roadways of Boston and New York, with knowledge and repetition the use of these names will become second nature and allow you to communicate clearly and effectively to your bachelor friends. And as any of the members of society in The Giver will tell you, precision of language is a very important thing. So let’s begin:

Bathroom: Museum of Not So Fine Smells Odor Exhibit, Axe Body Spray Chamber

Kitchen: Salmonella Breeding Lab, Trans-Siberian Orchestra Preshow Pyrotechnics Test Site

Bedroom: Unexpected Guest Arrival Useless Junk Storage Unit, Mt. Laundry Treacherous Trek

Garage: Tenants Territorial Gaza Strip War Zone, 1997 Honda CRV Unfit To Be On the Road Weapon of Mass Destruction Holding Hangar

Family Room: Lonely Room, ESPN Observatory  

 

Well, any of my exes will tell you I’m not great at ending things, so good luck and happy traveling!