Courtship: Then And Now

Technology has caused a lot of problems. It’s mad warfare more catastrophic, it’s caused face to face conversation to become a lost art and its opened a lot of doors for faulty info to get out. However, it also has made it much easier to answer the fundamental question on every guys mind while he’s talking to a girl, is she single? And I think that almost any guy would be willing to become a tour guide that leads Mexicans into the United States in exchange for that information. Nowadays, you meet a girl, “Your name is Hermione Granger.” Go home, shoot Hermione a friend request on facebook and be like “Ok, ok let’s see…..It’s Complicated with Brutus I’llkickyourbuttis Ifyoutalktothisgirlagainis, ok nope. Back in the day (and by that I mean pre-facebook) you had to try to pry that information out of them by asking them 50,000 questions, each one getting more direct than the last. “So, do you have any pets? You do, you have a bird, how nice. Any reptiles in your house? No reptiles ever since your brother threw a rubber toy snake in the shower when you were seven, fascinating. Any fish swimming around at your house? Your dad has a talking bass on the wall? No kidding! So…..um, any mammals crawling, hopping or I don’t know ummm….walking around in your life? And after listening to 237 stories about this girls’ inability to keep 14 fish, 2 dogs and a male lizard she named Lizzie because she thought it was female alive, guys finally snap. LISTEN! ARE YOU SINGLE OR NOT??!! THAT’S ALL I WANNA KNOW! AND THAT’S ALL THAT THE 46 GUYS THAT TALKED TO YOU BEFORE ME WANTED TO KNOW! BUT YA KNOW WHAT??? YOU’RE GONNA END UP ALONE CUZ YOU JUST RAMBLE ON ABOUT YOUR CATS, YOUR DOGS, THAT FLIPPING MONKEY THAT YOU HAVE THAT’S INDIGENOUS TO MADAGASCAR! I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO BE INDIRECT ALL NIGHT, BUT I AM GOING TO BE DIRECT NOW, I AM GOING TO FINISH MY STEAK, WHICH I HOPE USED TO BE ONE OF YOUR PETS BY THE WAY, AND I AM GOING TO STAB THIS STEAK KNIFE DIRECTLY INTO MY EAR!!!