(I Scream, You Scream) We All Scream for.....

I have been on the road driving behind antique cars and in front of cops, but by far, the weirdest array of emotions came a few days ago when I was driving behind an ice cream truck for a solid twenty minutes. It was weird for me because I noticed in two separate areas the truck had printed on it the phrase “watch for children.” I don’t know at what point something meant to be attention grabbing and informative becomes unnecessary and awkward, but for me, that number is apparently two. It doesn’t matter who your products target demographic is, that seems to be a little much. After a while, it got hot out and I started to want some ice cream, but I didn’t have any cash so I thought about what would happen if I tried to rob them with nothing, but a pair of keys, a sideways baseball cap and the first ever carjacking with the opening line of “excuse me, but if it’s not too much trouble......” but I have this fear that ice cream trucks are all retired converted military vehicles and my unconvincing assault will be met with someone from behind the counter shoving a bazooka in my face. I don’t know where this deep desire of mine came from to hold them up for a few hoodsie cups, because I never played violent video games games growing up, I played Madden and NHL, so my best bet would be to hop in a genetics lab and create a team of employees that all have customer service, speed and dessert knowledge overall ratings of 99% and demolish the competition. Unfortunately, I remembered that driving is a “full attention” task for me and I don’t do well when it is hot out and any ice cream man who glances in his rear view mirror to see someone pouring sweat with this intense look on their face has probably already called for backup