At work today, a woman complimented my job in the dish room telling me that I was friendly and worked very hard. She then asked what was an obvious follow up question to that which allowed our dialogue to have the conversational continuity of a film series that goes from Lord of the Rings 1 to Pirates of the Caribbean 2 to Star Wars Episode 3 and finishes up with Harry Potter 4.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" she asked
I decided to cut her off at the pass and let her down easy......"Listen lady, I appreciate it, but you're like 96 years old and your English is mediocre at best so I just think communication would be a huge problem for us, I appreciate the compliment of your interest though."
I said no I didn't and she said "Don't worry she's out there somewhere (as if my future wife is some lost kitten just aimlessly wandering around) Just keep working hard and she'll find you." she said
"I'm washing dishes..... I spend several hours a day scraping crusty, old lasagna primavera out of a sheet-pan, so unless I'm meant to be with Ariel from the little mermaid or 2004 Christina Aguilera pops outta this industrial sized dishwasher and does an absolutely killer rendition of "Car Wash" I don't think this is the answer to my problem. I appreciate this 7th Heaven moment very much, but let's just think about dishes now."
We proceeded to promptly and peacefully put away the remainder of the plates and silverware.
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