Wild, Wild Aisle

At the grocery store a guy came up behind me in a cowboy hat with a bandana over his mouth and I honestly thought I was going to be the victim of a Market Basket burglary from Butch Cartsidy and the SunChips Kid. So I froze in place, looked as helpless as I could (which is not very hard for me 🤓) and exclaimed “Oh my heavens.” He glanced at the contents of my cart, which was lined with Caesar kit salads and then gave me a look that said “You strike me as the kind of person who does math problems in his free time for fun” and he moved on. Let that be a lesson, always ALWAYS conceal any alcohol and tobacco products in your cart with a few decoy salads that you are just going to hand to the cashier at checkout. It just might save your life.