Thanksgiving Tips

Mark Woonton’s Thanksgiving tip for the day: remember to sit at one of the ends of the table. This way you’re eating is less likely to be interrupted by someone asking you to pass something and thus your piggishness can be far more productive, you have an easier exit route to the bathroom and getting up to get seconds, thirds, fourths and fifths because you aren’t having to slither your way out from between two people like you’re trying to parallel park a Panzer tank and you aren’t getting caught in the crosshairs of a quadrillion conversations and can have the kind of intimate interactions that come with sitting at the end of the table. Plus, people sitting at the ends of a table are inherently viewed as more important individuals. Remember “please” “thank you” and whoever brings up politics first does the dishes. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!