Laugh Coach

I feel as though I'd greatly benefit from having a Laugh Coach.

It's like a life coach for social settings when I'm with a group of friends and conversation is going great and everyone is laughing and having a good time and then I go and say something completely off the wall and erroneous that brings out this chorus of comedy killing crickets and conversation quickly takes a resuscitation rerouting to a topic such as sports or weather.

On the flip side, believe or not, but not every thought I've ever had has made the mental migration from mind to mouth and sometimes I'll think "Nah, that's stupid." But then two seconds later someone else says it, everyone laughs hysterically like it's the first joke they've ever heard and tells them that the joke restored their faith in humanity and I'm left sitting there like a pouting preschooler who just got his toy truck stolen on the playground like "Hey, that was mine!"

I don't know, maybe I'll pay the judges from Last Comic Standing to follow me around and be like "Yes! Say that, quickly!" or "No! What are you, insane? Don't say that!" But now that I've typed this out, I've realized that I think the thing I'm describing is a conscience and the moral of the story is "Think before I speak."