Aged and Confused

 I felt old in 2018 when I saw that seniors graduating high school were born in the 2000s. I feel old when I hear words like "situationship" and have to Google what it means. However, nothing will make me feel older than receiving the two checks from a restaurant and seeing the one that says, "merchant copy." There is always this split-second where I am like "Did I pull up to this place in a longboat wearing a toga and sandals and am I about to pay for this with coins that have Julius Ceasar's profile on them?" I would not bash this without offering an alternative so places could just say "store copy, customer copy" "our copy, your copy." If it's a Harry Potter themed restaurant the patron's copy would say "“Your devotion is nothing more than cowardice. You would not be here if you had anywhere else to go” and the restaurants copy would say "I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been burned — or worse, fired." At a Lord of the Rings themed restaurant the establishment's copy would say "For Frodo" and the customers copy would say "Mine. My own. My precious."