Paws

I know that me teaching proper etiquette is like getting a vocabulary lesson from a Vulpix, but It is considered good manners to sit with your chair tucked in and to situate oneself a balled up fist away from the table.

While I’m sure this is to prevent people from just smashing their face into their food like they are bobbing for appetizers, I have found it serves another purpose. You see, every breakfast I now have a barking beggar right beside me. He lurks at every lunch and seeks to devour every dinner. Watching........waiting for that inevitable incident where I have a motor skills meltdown, where my hand-eye coordination takes it’s habitual hiatus and food hits the floor. He has a bowl full of water and a dish packed to the brim with food that I have hunted down and provided, but like a kindergartner who struggles with contentment, he wants what I have. In the past, I have gone scuba diving in the Caribbean and mingled amongst sting rays and sharks. Nothing makes me more uneasy than trying to enjoy a plateful of pizza while being ever so aware of the puppy’s presence......Circling........Savoring and getting me to say “I think I’m gonna need a bigger plate.”