Hat Trick

Rules, much like a pop stars heart, are meant to be broken.

It may surprise you, but the only disciplinary action I had enforced on me when I was at school were the result of being late several times in a quarter or chewing gum. However, I'd like to share with you what I consider to be the most "gangsta" moment of my time at Pelham High.

Freshman year I had some major brain surgery which left my head looking like Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi and because the stomachs of the student body were about as weak as their SAT scores, I was allowed to wear a hat so that I could look somewhat cooler and everyone else could keep their lunches down.

Unfortunately, the head hunting hall monitors were not made aware of my exemption from the "Lid Law" and ran up to me clearing their throat and touching their head like an asthmatic whack a mole. In response, I got to pull out this nifty little note from my neurosurgeon basically stating "Yo, the back of this kids head is ridiculous! It's best we keep it covered up, capisce"

What did they think? I had some Rice University educated rodent relative of Ratatouille under there feeding me the answers to my social studies test like "The Bay of Pigs invasion took place between April 17th through the 19th of 1961." I'm starting to think that the harsh treatment was mainly because I chose to wear a Detroit Red Wings cap in Bruins Country and for that I have been and will remain 100% unapologetic.