Love Hurts

 The top 3 most painful things I have ever experienced have been: 

1. Shunt malfunctions 

2. Gallstones 

3. Ruptured appendix 

However, a short while ago, another experience made a strong case for itself. I was holding who I thought was my nice little niece, but unbeknownst to me, Cloé had morphed into the sadistic spawn of Zinedine Zidane and she whipped her head back like a wicked Willow Smith and turned her beautiful baby brain container into a battering ram for reasons I’m sure I deserve, but are a bit unclear to me at the moment. This cranial collision caused a rather unfortunate rearranging of the four pieces of information on constant rotation in my head: 1. When rent is due 2. Where to find the mayo at work 3. Lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail 4. A good portion of the names from the Detroit Red Wings 2002 Stanley Cup winning roster. I still love you, Cloé! 👶

A Birthday to Remember

 When I was a kid I was in and out of the hospital quite a lot and a “tradition” that my dad and I had was when I finally got to go home, we would take all of the “Get Well Soon” balloons, release them off of the back deck and shoot them with BB guns. The good news is I have been hospital free for about a decade. The bad news is one of my neighbors just had one of those parade processions of cars decorated with streamers and balloons  for someone’s birthday. The good news is I still got it. The bad news is I think I simultaneously ruined a birthday party and made it one they will never forget. “Hey man, welcome to Little Florida where we don’t do drive bys, we do drive thrus!”