Roaring 20s

My 20s have been a very confusing time.

Yesterday after I got home, I got a workout in, swept my garage, made my dinner, got myself set up for the next day and did a word search. Each word search has a theme and this one was "U.S. Presidents." Now, I found that the most efficient way to go about completing a POTUS themed word search is checking that outer square, because typically they will throw a few words out there. Then, you look for the "oddball" letters that kind of stick out, like your "W's" "X's" and "Y's" (This eliminates Wilson, Tyler, Taylor, Eisenhower, Nixon and Kennedy.) After that, "double letters" have a tendency to pop off the page and finding these gets rid of Jefferson, Harrison, Fillmore, Coolidge, Hoover and both Roosevelts. Next, I would suggest you look for certain suffixes like a vowel followed by the letter "n" as this combination seems to lead you straight to commander in chiefs like Washington, Jackson, Van Buren and Buchanan. The suffix –ing sticks out which makes President Harding an ironically easy find. I finished the word search and went to bed.

The next day at work I was lifting a bunch of trays and someone who witnessed and can verify this went “Geez you’re kind of ripped.” Now, while I was in school the only time I heard the word ripped was because an article of clothing got caught in the bleachers and began to tear when I jumped down so my initial reaction was a panicked once-over to make sure everything was OK. My next thought was “DO NOT OBJECTIFY ME! I AM A HUMAN BEING WITH A BIG, BEAUTIFUL BRAIN, GOSH DARNIT!”

And I think it says something that my reaction to that was mistrust and concern. I’m also totally aware that in your heart of hearts you knew that word searches were the kind of anarchic activity going down at the Woonton household on a nightly basis. I am glad that Superman pops up every now and then, but I think I am much more comfortable as Clark Kent.