Today on the radio I heard some DJ say "Up next, we will be discussing how you choose to eat a gingerbread man and what that says about your personality."
And none of the digestive diagnoses were good either. The woman was like "If you go right for the head it means your abrasive and impatient. If you eat the limbs first it means you have self esteem issues and feel unworthy to lead and if you go straight for the buttons you are meticulous and annoying."
Can I ask a question? Is there any aspect of life that can remain unexamined?! Does every activity need to have some underlying epiphany attached to it? Seriously, I'm all for self-reflection, but do I really need to be made aware of what Aristotle thinks about my eating habits? I know my waistline is held together by borrowed time thanks to my lifestyle and lineage and I'm at a point in my life where I fit too comfortably into outfits and elevators to be self-conscious about the way I eat, so can't I just enjoy that a little longer?! Eating a gingerbread man is already weird enough partaking in this candy coated cannibalism of consuming something with four limbs and a face. For me, every first bite is accompanied with a fear that I'm going to hear it shout "NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTONS!!!" can we just leave it there?
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