Student Driver

I have seen a lot of scary things on cars in my day. Treacherous trunk trinkets like bumper stickers with curse words,  New York Yankee stickers on vandalism-worthy vehicles who have clearly taken a wrong turn and wandered deep into the heart of Red Sox country. However, the most attention grabbing auto ornament I have laid eyes on are cars with the catastrophic coupling of words informing me that the car in front is under the command of a "Student Driver." Everyone has to go through the process learning at some point and I understand that. In fact, it is mostly the teachers I have a problem with. I was behind a student driver doing 20mph in a 30mph zone for what felt like an eternity. The frequency and ferocity with which the brakes were being hit lead me to the only conceivable conclusions that either there was a small creature loose in that car both of them were unsuccessfully trying to kill or they were the first contestants on the new GSN Smash hit game show "Crash Cab." Now, I feel comfortable sharing something with you about one of my dads' shortcomings as a father because for him, getting into Facebook is like breaking into Fort Knox so I am sure he will never see this (RIGHT, PEOPLE?!) when he was teaching me to drive he said "Go five miles per hour over the speed limit to keep with the flow of traffic ('but Mark, it is a speed LIMIT! Yeah, well the rim of an ice bowl is the limit to a serving, but do we obey that? No, we compact that sucker down with a spoon like we are packing to leave for a Candy Land Cruise in the morning, heap on a Himalayan mountains sized helping of whipped cream on the top and pray that gravity and gluttony cooperate for the return trip to the couch. My point being, there are grey areas. Proverbs says "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." So, please for the LOVE OF GOD, train them to go a little faster!