Wishful Sinking

Today I was cleaning some dishes in the sink and as I was rinsing off the last few pieces of silverware I noticed that I was bleeding. After the initial shock, the aftershock, the static shock and listening to Timbaland’s album, Shock Value, I had this surreal and straight up serendipitous moment of Samson-like strength as I thought “Dang, I was bleeding and didn’t even know it?! I must be bad to the bone!” I looked closer in order to assess the injury and came up with the demoralizing diagnosis that this substance seeping from finger was ketchup from the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets I had eaten for dinner.