Dehumanifier

 Gossip, secrets and rumors definitely make me uncomfortable, but I recently learned that I get equally on edge when I walk into the basement to the whirring of the dehumidifier and it cuts out the second I reach the bottom of the stairs and all that is left is just this uncomfortable, awkward borderline suspicious level of silence. I just glance over at the inanimate, inaudible appliance like "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" 

I don't mean to revamp any AI invasion arguments, I am just saying, be careful out there people, I think they are planning something.

Babbleonian

 I found this while going through some boxes in the attic at my parent's house. We could talk about the hair, but we are not going to. I was never an artist and I know that. Instead, I would like to focus on what I (and my mother) believe to be letters put together in an attempt to form words.    

I am now convinced that every parent of a child deserves at least honorary (if not a legitimate) bachelor's degree in Linguistics specializing in the study of endangered/extinct languages. Every teacher deserves a master's degree and every teacher who is also a parent should get a PhD, because to me this looks like someone was woken from a deep sleep, blindfolded, given seventeen cups of coffee and then they were asked to draw what the inside of a pinball machine looks like.